8 Years In a Cage (I’m Free)

I’ve spent 8 long years in a perpetual hell I know it’s a not the start to a light hearted feel good story but hear me out.

I lost a beautiful woman to a drink driver 8 years ago I was a part of this beautiful woman’s life for 20 years we were best friends lovers and everything that made life beautiful then the actions of one selfish human being changed everything and shattered my world and everything inside it.

I became a very different man I was so loving funny outgoing completely wild I played wrote and produced music , mainly rock and metal but after this happened none of it mattered anymore and the music wasn’t my job it was a passion but a big part of my life and our life.

In one foul swoop I became dark distant cut off and angry at the world but most of all just sad because going from being wild happy and outgoing to that is a massive shift it literally feels like the ground beneath you has opened up and swallowed you whole and I retreated from life and became a very different man outside was just a facade I smiled but inside I was drowning in my own personal hell I cried everyday that grief really took hold and no choice of my own it embraced me took a stranglehold on me.

But something happened to me today something I thought would never come like trigger inside me Lisa the love of my life the one I lost said something to me she said “It’s time to be you again I know you’ll never forget me but it’s time to be you again she said I’ll always love you and you’ll always love me but it’s time to love again it’s time to be you again”

Now this has happened before but this time it stuck I’m back the fun side the loving side the very wild side the warrior in me has returned the creative side the musician all of it has returned I’m back and excuse my language but the darkness can kiss my ass goodbye I’m done with you.

So lastly I want to thank each and everyone of you who has stuck by me and supported me through my time here now it’s time to really let the Wolf out embrace exactly who I am and share it with you so from the bottom of my heart thank you to all of you I love you all and look out because I’m back and I’m here to stay.But seriously thank you all of you sincerely you didn’t have to stick with me but you did and you all know who you are I love you for that.

So a little musical treat from my homeland I hope you enjoy it.This song represents me and the life I’ve lived and the work and life challenges I still have in front of me difference is I’m ready this time.

Archangel White Wolf 🐺⚔️❤️ ( I really do love you all)

Published by: Archangel White Wolf

I write poetry and music I love reading other people’s writing. I believe in supporting and promoting other people’s work and growing the community in a positive way.❤️🐺⚔️

Categories Poetry64 Comments

64 thoughts on “8 Years In a Cage (I’m Free)”

  1. You’re absolutely right Harley that’s something I definitely learnt but I have to say it’s real good to be back thank you for all your kindness and support you’re amazing.❤️

  2. I am so very happy to read this post of yours. So good to know you are ready to be happy again. I do love love love your poems. So I look forward to accompanying you on your new journey. With lots and lots of love from me 😍🤗🤗

  3. Wow to hear that message from Lisa right now.. I am so appreciative to hear more of your story, I knew Lisa had passed but I did not know how long ago it was… letting go takes time.. its only lately I am coming to more peace over my father’s death and it happened 35 years ago.. Grief is different in each case. Poetry has been your salvation and connects you to so many other hearts.. I was so happy to read this from you, Robbie…much love to you. . I am sure that gave you such comfort. ❤

  4. Thank you Deborah for these beautiful words it means everything you’ve touched my heart with this wonderful message of kindness and I truly hope you have found peace now too much love to you.❤️

  5. I am in some way Robbie.. I missed out on a lot with my Dad not getting to really know him as an adult.. but that is different to losing the love of your life… I just know in my heart Lisa is always close to you, always wanting you to open your heart again… those we love never really leave us the relationship just changes form… thanks for always sharing from your heart.

  6. You truly do say the most beautiful things I’m grateful for you Deborah and my heart has been hiding for so long Lisa wants me to set it free I know she does she was beautiful like that and she’s will always be in my heart no matter what thank you again you’re amazing.

  7. A Gift for you Robbie.
    I leave the link of a new post I felt inspired to produce because of your letter here! I leave my original text to you and then once you follow up with the link it should all fit nicely! Take care,
    Lawrence
    Firstly, thank you for sharing this powerful slice of your life that indeed crippled you for a time but more importantly you prevailed out of and rose above the crushing blow to your inner and outer life! Loss is so traumatic and even horrific, so that can never be taken lightly, and indeed anyone who does isn’t alive or has no humanity within them. Healing is a process that is real too and I see and hear happily that you have been on a long road to recovering and healing as a man who always had good intentions and now those intentions are incredibly more alive than before and have taken on more power and focus, a vitality and singularity of purpose that wasn’t there ever; like it is now.
    In life we can arrive at a crossroad where things don’t seem to add up or things look so futile; and that the things going on in our lives may be consuming us or the world itself is deadly which eventually defeats us one way or the other. I remember older relatives speaking of being in actual battle, wars and how buddies, fellow warriors standing next to them one minute and the next blow to smithereens, nothing left practically, and then the eventual question of why them and not me. These are sad and frightful thoughts or realities that befall us in this dichotomy of life where there is so much good but yet equally so much bad, because in the end living this earthly life death wins and all things come to their end. My dad taught me as a kid that faith is the key to making it though this at times living hell, because he loved life and his family so much; but I found in time that he loved God more and knew the secret that really is actually not one. Belief in that higher power the Almighty is a choice and every thinking breathing human being has to address that question of faith at some point; so dad did say too that we are tested here Lawrence! You see Robbie we are in our trials and tribulations period and there is an agony and ecstasy value to life that transcends all of this and we can’ fully comprehend it! But without the dark for the light to shine through how would any corporeal or spiritual being grow to appreciate the unfathomable and the choice not being given of “free agency” would mean that life surely would be meaningless or of no consequence one way or the other and we would be nothing more to God or ourselves than lumps of matter existing for no real purpose! I think you’re getting where I’m coming from here brother, yes it is damn tough at times and some seem to suffer much more than others, perhaps not by anything they do wrong but being a victim of circumstance! But those that do suffer in the heat of the flame longest and feel the pain learn and evolve to become more their the original version and like the tempering of steel they take on a new power and strength to forge ahead leading others and helping in ways they otherwise would not have been ever able to without first running the gauntlet; and in the end they did it for purpose; to be there “to serve God’s plan” as instruments of the ultimate goal to save as many as possible from doom or oblivion; which to me is a meaningless existence and feeling that way for eternity! Purpose and victory are ahead for those that will take up the shield of truth, honor, bravery and love with commitment to the purpose, the mission, as long is required onto victory! You have been though a nightmare but you are elevated in God’s eyes now, it’s what you do with that, He awaits your decision with resolve and new commitment to forge ahead and carry on trusting all to Him our Lord; with that nothing will stand in the way or defeat the purpose or you.
    I appreciate the added insight and inspiration you have provided here to my outlook! Amen.
    God Bless.
    Lawrence
    https://lawrencemorra.com/2020/03/30/trusting-all-to-him-our-lord/

  8. Robbie, listen my man. Something told me this was important and it would mean what you’re saying to you so I was compelled and inspired! That tells me one thing, up above all of this and our heartaches we are cared for and love beyond our wildest imaginations and we need to hang tough and hang in, maybe hang 10 if you surf but we can make it brother! Like the Marines, do or die bro! We got this! Catch you later on! . 🙏 ❤

  9. Wow. Now I know why your poetry is so heartfelt and true. Grief sucks, I am sorry for your pain, and I am glad that you are finally able to move forward, you deserve happiness, reach for it, it is there.

  10. Hello Tiffany firstly thank you for this wonderful and heartfelt message it means the world and yes you’re right it does suck but after so long my journey now continues and happiness is right within reach I can feel it thank you again bless your kind heart.

  11. Thank you my brother it does mean everything and I understand duty to country it resonated with me so much it was incredible thank you brother you’re a true inspiration yourself.

  12. So happy to hear that you have made a break through!! Everyone grieves differently and it is a tribute to the love you shared that it has taken this long!!! I am so happy for you, My Friend!! Happy to hear you are going to get back into your music. Perhaps, you may find a couple of my poems comforting?
    Chuck

    https://thereluctantpoetweb.wordpress.com/2017/11/12/haiku-a-flickering-soul/
    https://thereluctantpoetweb.wordpress.com/2017/12/10/i-still-hear-your-voice/

  13. Thank you Charles these poems are really incredible and very deep you can feel the words as you read them really beautiful and the breakthrough was something I never thought would come but it was the acceptance and her voice that told me it was ok to move forward and to love again and be who I am she will always be with me and my music sounds just like it used to I’ve played for 30 years and it all came back thank you again for your kindness and sharing your amazing poetry you’re a real talent no doubt about that have a great day my friend.

  14. Well, it’s a pleasure and honor to know you and I figure just from what I know you’re a great down to earth man but a true dedicated citizen and lover of humanity obviously! I bet you have many fine stories too, about relatives and friends or people you know in your past and if we were close by each other it would be easy to sit and rap or like my father and all the older guys did when I was little on the weekend they would shoot the breeze lol! Having a cookout and just nice family gathering sorts of times! Let’s shoot the breeze more soon!
    I have to listen to the Hendrix guitar right now it fires me up and may kick the shit out of this bug in me! See you soon and have a wonderful day my friend and brother!
    You keep up the fine writing sir!

  15. Hugs of peace to you dear Robbie. You are a strong man with a beautiful heart. Happy to read about the good changes. May you have abundance of peace, joy and good health 😊💕

  16. Awww Krishna thank you so much you have a wonderful and kind heart too I’m so grateful for you I hope you’re well please take care and thank you for all the beautiful things you said love and light to you.☺️❤️

  17. 💪I like knowing everything is always for the highest good, no matter what it may appear like here in this physical realm. As you can tell from your own experience, death isn’t the end, she spoke to you, your experience is real, don’t ever think it wasn’t, because truthfully there is no separation, everything is one supreme spirit. Glad to hear your back🤙

  18. Thank you my friend you’re absolutely right everything is one supreme spirit an amazing way to word it and I can’t lie it’s been a long road back but when she spoke to me I knew it was true sign I’m making some very big changes it’s time to live again thank you again my friend be safe.👍🏻

  19. It’s great to hear that! You be safe too? We’re all gonna make it out of here together, peace and love 🤙

  20. Robbie, I feel your sense of purpose from the tone of your words. I have read many of your poems, and I feel the intense love you have for Lisa. God’s peace!

  21. I like the video 🙂
    May You know the best that is yet to Be
    as you wander in the wonders of the world
    Take Care…You Matter…
    Blessing
    mary

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